It's All Goodie (Minus The Hoddie)

Sorry to keep ya hanging but things have been a bit rough thanks to Katrina. I'm not talking about my best friend, I'm talking about that fat ass storm that came through here acting all bad, then took her ass up to LA and fucked everyone up. Let that bitch come back here and I'll give her what-for!

So here is what is up. School is all payed for, the job I got is pretty cool, gas is climbing so high I may have to start robbing gas stations just for some 87 grade. But who cares? Things have fallen back into place. Maybe its the new Kanye I'm bunping that has me feeling so good. He reminds me a lot of myself and that makes me feel like I can do something major with my life. And I plan to...

I'm writing a book, ya'll. That's right. I am actually going to write my very first novel. Its an action/adventuer joint and its the book that has been dying to get out of me for the longest. I am very excited about it. I tried to write one when I was younger but it didn't really work out. Now I am going about it in a way that makes it easy for me. I have all I need in place.

Speaking of that, you may be wondering how things are going with Tisha and I. Things are good. I'll give an update on that in about three weeks.

So for now I'm very optomistic about everything. It feels good to feel good.

I Don’t Even Live NEAR 34th Street

So I’m sure you all are dying to know what happened. Well at least pretend you are! It turns out I was able to get the money to go to school, AND pay for books. How did this seemingly impossible feat occur? Did Keldrick dawn a ski mask and run into a bank armed with a pistol shouting “EVERYONE ON THE GROUND NOW!”?

Nope.

Tisha gave me the money. Isn’t that something? She also gave me a choice. She said; “You can either go to school or we can stay together.” Yeah, class starts Monday. Don’t get me wrong it was a very hard decision but the way I see it is this; I need to finish this mutha-fucka. I need to do that now. For too long I have dreamed of teaching the youth and for too long I have been putting it off. This is a dream of mine that I am too close to.

So you may be wondering what will become of Santisha and I. Don’t worry. That has also been taken care of. Tisha is still going to move to her moms, and I to my brothers, BUT we are gonna still keep in contact. We are going to use this time apart to work on each other, separately. There is a lot of stuff I don’t tell you about Tisha cuz there are SOME things that should remain personal (as I have also learned my lesson about writing too much about my friends as well) so just know that she is not perfect and the time apart is very welcome.

So how do I feel about everything that is about to transpire? I don’t know yet. On the one hand I am very glad to be back in school. As long as I feel like I am working towards something I will always feel good about myself. Also, this break from Tisha comes at a time where I kinda need to re-establish myself as a man. Will I date? I don’t think I’ll have too much time for it. Will we get back together? Time will tell. On the other hand I am sorta afraid to step out into this venture without Tisha. We have been together for a while now and I guess when you do something by ya lonely it’s always scary. I’ll get over it.

It just feels funny. I didn’t think I’d be here last year but here I am. Stay tuned.

When It's Time For The Ski Mask Way

Okay, today one out of two is a bad thing. I got the job I was looking to get so that was awesome. When I went to Miami Dade to see what would come about from my work studies program they told me that I don’t qualify for it. This is bad. If I can’t get like almost $800 by Wednesday then all this drama was for nothing. I need to come up with that cash and soon.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “Well Keldrick just get a grant or something”, then silence cuz I beat ya to that. I already tried all the grants. What I need here is something that looks like a miracle.

Kinda sucks, doesn’t it? I need money and I need it fast. Where the hell is my ski mask….?

Taking Care Of Business

I have to check on a few things today and hopefully they won't suck. I have a job interview with a place that offered me the job before but I turned it down because of the hours. Now the hours are perfect and the lady said if I changed my mind to get back to them.

Second I have to go by Miami Dade and check up on my work studies program to see how that will turn out. Classes need to be paid by the 24th or it ain't happening.

So it looks like there is a lot riding on today. I'll give an update when I get back home.

Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down

The following people would get their asses handed to them should they ever face me in a fist fight.

10 - Papa Smurf
9 - Paris Hilton
8 - Osama Bin Laden
7 - The "glam squad" from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
6 - Cobra Commander
5 - Any kid under the age of five
4 - Bob Barker
3 - Mary Hart
2 - Michael Jackson
1 - My dad's wife (though I’m sure she'd get in a good head butt)

That is all. Thank you

Insert Jay Z’s “The Black Album” Track Eight Here

Mutual break-ups are weird. I don’t know enough about them to know if that was a true statement but my break-up is going kinda…well, weird. I just thought I’d say that first.

You know what’s cool about breaking up? STARTING OVER. All things in the universe work this way. (Don’t tell anyone but that’s why the world is gonna blow up someday. Sshhhhh!! That’s between you and I, ‘kay?) You see, the universe and everything in it is all about destroy and rebuild. What is more beautiful then that simple process? I watch action movies all the time and ya know what some of the best parts are? When shit is blowing up! The best part of sex? The violent explosion of all my lil’ mini Keldrick’s making a break for your oh so safe, I know you not trying to run, get’cho ass back here, I think I see it, cover me I’m going in, stop moving before I slap ya, okay guys I’m in, egg! The universe was created from one big ass explosion! (Whether or not god lit the fuse is something we’ll debate some other time.) And look what came from all that chaos. ME!

So now that I’m cool with breaking up its time to do what comes next. Building. (This is also known as cleaning up.) After you’ve had a great party and ya place is trashed, what do ya do the next day (or three days later if ya party was off the meter reader), ya clean that bitch up. That is what I am in the process of doing. Only now the clean-up isn’t a room, it’s me. I listened to what Tisha had to say about me very well. I’m not mad at her for wanting this nor do I blame her for any of this. The fact of the matter is that I need to be a man about my shit. What that means is that I can not rely on HER to do the things I should be taking care of. But I can’t take care of anything until I can take care of myself. And I can’t take care of myself until I take care of some other things. (That made sense, right?)

School starts next week and I have no clue how the flying fuck I’m gonna pay for classes. Financial Aid already said they can offer as much help as a training bra on Dolly Pardon. I CAN do work studies but that ain’t gonna help pay for much else as I will also need to keep my car payments up along with my crappy phone. I may also want to eat and put gas in that bad boy while I’m at it. This means I’ll need a job. (BTW if you are in a position to hire me please don’t hesitate to let me know. WILL WORK FOR FOOD, which I will then in turn sell for money!) I’m thinking about being a waiter. From what I hear they make pretty okay cash and have a really flexible schedule. I’ll keep that in mind.

Breaking up lets you see things you didn’t see before. I’m not saying I can now look through clothing with ease, nor can I spot a pubic hair on the crack of a mosquito from 200 yards, I mean I look at things with a new perspective. Once again, I can focus on me and the things I like to do. Maybe I can get back into the dating scene. That reminds me, you may be wondering where I’ll be taking up residence come September 12th. Well, my dad’s ex-girlfriend that he should have married instead of that life sucking, family splitting, gorilla-ass looking, why the DC sniper ain’t take aim at you-ass, BITCH he did marry, says I can stay with her. This is cool cuz it will also allow me to hang out with my little brother Mike. I’ll only have to kick her a few bucks when I have it and keep up with a few chores which I’ll have my brother do anyway cuz that’s what big brothers do. He’s at an age where he is really gonna need me. So again, I’m building what was destroyed a few years back thanks to my dad’s wife.

Speaking of my dad’s wife, that is the only woman on the planet that I can call a bitch and not feel bad about it. If I could punch her in the face without having to worry about:

1- Her getting back up
2- The police
3- Getting my hand/fist dirty with her Diana germs

I would. I just thought I’d put that out there.

So this moment of clarity (that’s the song btw for those either too lazy to look it up or those that have no clue as to what the title of this blog was referring to, ya geeks) comes right on time. Just think. Had I not lost my job trying to go after that other job, Tisha wouldn’t have wanted to break up and I wouldn’t have had a reason to go back to school just yet. I would still be at that bullshit job doing bullshit work, complaining about how I’m not back in school getting the degree I want so I can help to destroy things like illiteracy, low test scores, and that other stuff that goes along with being in school as a kid. All so they can build a strong future. Destroy and rebuild. Beautiful ain’t it?

Self Destruct Sequence - Aborted

I used to have the greatest connection to my ex-girlfriend Nicole. During the Curtiss Drive era, she was the best thing to happen to me. My first love. My first heartbreak. I thought we would be together until time was no longer a factor. To me, she was all I would ever need in this world. She was the air, the sun, the moon, the stars, the universe. She was my all and I loved her more then anything in this world.

Damn I hate her for that. I hate her for letting me into her life and allowing me to ruin it. I hate her for loving me unconditionally and never asking for anything in return. I hate her for letting me walk all over her and getting attached to her. For giving in to me, for forgiving me, for teaching me.

For loving me…

How is it possible that I could still be thinking about her after all of these years? I was 14 when I met her and fifteen when I realized she was all I would ever want. That was so long ago. I’m twenty-six now. There has not been a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought about her. I still have dreams about us. All my relationships go the same way ya know. Each girlfriend I get is afraid Nicole will come back and I’ll be out the door.

That ain’t gonna happen. She is in love with this guy that I think isn’t good enough for her. I’m not saying that cuz I’m a hater either. IF she was with someone that TRULY made her happy, then I would be happy for her. HONESTLY! But I know she isn’t. She is settling. She was so hurt by me that she will not allow herself to feel that way again. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine being so hurt by a person that you are willing to settle for someone cuz they stick around? They never screw up per-se, but they never go past your expectations. They never tell you how much they love you. Never express to you how you are the reason they open their eyes in the morning…

Wow… It seems that all I do is hurt the people I love. Right now two of my best friends aren’t talking to me, and I may lose them forever. My girlfriend (bout to be my ex) says I don’t make her happy and she is tired of trying to make us work. I used to have a best friend that I could talk to for hours on end about everything who now… well, now we only talk on occasions and it’s just not the same. There is this emptiness inside the conversations. It’s subtle. I can feel it hidden in between each word.

It’s almost as if, the closer you get to knowing me the worse you’ll end up when the smoke clears. The funny thing is, I don’t mean to do it. In a very candid conversation with a few friends of mine, I asked them what I am really like and they both agreed that I am not a nice person. I couldn’t understand that for anything in the world. For so long all I’ve wanted to do was make people feel comfortable around me. Not just around me but around others as well. I always thought that I had a way of bringing out the best in people. But I don’t. I don’t get it.

If I could talk to Nicole right now I would tell her that I love her. I would say I am sorry and that if she could give me the chance to show her all that I am I would make sure she wouldn’t regret it. But that is not going to happen. How do you push a person so far away by just wanting to love them? It just makes so much sense to me. I love you. You love me. Let’s be together. But that isn’t the case. So what happens? We settle. That’s all I’ve been doing since Nicole. Yes, I talk about Tisha and how great she is but the fact of the matter is that she is not Nicole. And I don’t want her to be, she is great being Tisha.

I’m going off again. I need to get away from all of this somehow. I’ll be getting back into school soon and that should help to divert some of this attention. Thank God the one friend I still have gave me some great advice. But it’s funny the way God works. He puts the only guy I really have a connection with way up in another part of the state so the only way I can talk to him is the phone. I can’t just cruise up to Tallahassee when I have a problem, I gotta use my messed up Metro PCS phone. (Another tangent, damnit!) He had me make a list of things I want to do. I’m gonna stick to that list and by the time it has been checked off, maybe I’ll have my life in order.

Or maybe it’ll be time to make a new list.

Bike Peddles On My Time Machine

I wish I could show you this great picture I have of my dad and me. It was taken a very long time ago; I’d say when I was eight or nine. We are standing in front of his Suzuki Samurai. I don’t even reach the middle of his chest. He has his arm around me, standing like a proud dad. I have my arm around him, standing like a proud son.

You should see the look on his face. Classic Mike. Kinda cocky but I know why he looks like that. It’s because of me. The look on his face says, “Look at me and my son.” On closer inspection I noticed that my chin is raised up a little bit. I guess I’m saying the same thing in my head. Look at me and my dad…

I used to think he was the coolest person on the planet for such a long time. I was so in love with my dad. Everything about him reeked of coolness. He was always so well dressed and smelled so good. I would watch him get ready for work in the mornings in total awe. He had a ritual. One that I now have.

It’s hard when you figure out that your parents are just people. I never noticed all the things that my dad did. The things I would end up doing. He inadvertently trained me to handle multiple relationships with women. He made me comfortable with women. I’m not mad at him for that stuff. I was mad at him for other things though. I was mad that he left me for a woman. I’m also upset that I’m not sure how I am going to turn out. I’m sure my dad did all the things he did in order to help his family. He failed. Others think he was acting selfish but I don’t. Then again, that may explain why I’m so selfish.

I’m going off on a tangent. My dad will not be around much longer. He has cancer. It’s odd because he has been away for so long that I used to wonder is I would miss him if he ever were to die. Now I know that I would miss him. What I would miss most is all the things I could have been. I feel like I owe it to him to be all the things he couldn’t be for his friends and family. Present.

Some of the best memories I have of my father and I are when we used to go bike riding at night. He turned me into a night person. There was something about zipping through our neighborhood with no sunlight that was too cool for words. Sometimes we would race but for the most part we would just “cruise”. That’s what he would say to me. “Hey son, wanna take a cruise?” What was so great is how sporadic these things were. Sometimes he would wake me up in the middle of the night, I’m talking one or two o’clock here. We never broke a sweat. I don’t know how long we’d be out but it always was too short for me.

I have another picture of my dad and I that I wish I could show you. It’s one of my favorites also. My dad and I are sitting on a bench in front of my late grandfathers’ house. (That was odd, I didn’t add “late” until AFTER I wrote that sentence…) In this photo my dad has the same look on his face that is in the other one. Once again, his arm is around me. You should see the look on my face. Classic Keldrick. My arm is around him. This photo was taken two years ago. Before this, I hadn’t seen my dad in ten years.

I miss him. He misses me. I know this sounds odd, but I can cure him. I just need to take him back to those bike rides. I know it will work.

How I Plan To Achieve Total World Domination

I just realized something. I don’t wanna work anymore. By that I don’t mean that I don’t want to get paid to do stuff, I mean I don’t want a job. You know what a job is? A job is when you wake up and you look at how beautiful the day is, then you suck your teeth cuz you are gonna be at your job all day. You are not happy. You are content. You know what content is? Content is settling. You say to yourself, “Self, maybe today won’t suck.” Then you go through your day. It sucks.

You know what I want? I want to wake up a lot like I do now. When I get up I’m not upset. I’m happy. Granted, I’m also being irresponsible. If I get a job, I want one that I like going to. You know what that is called? A dream job. You know why they call it a dream job? Cuz only in ya dreams can you get a job that you actually like going to.

So, if I could do something, what would I do? I keep telling myself I want to become a teacher. A few of my friends have done it and they all hated it. Strange though, I don’t think I’ll hate it. I actually get excited thinking about it. Maybe not exited, more like anxious. There are so many kids that need help. I know I can do it.

This is gonna sound (well read anyway, unless you’re reading out loud then it would sound) strange but I honestly think I can make a difference. When I think about teaching I see my class as one that’s filled with joy and excitement. There are things called ‘teachable moments’ that I hope to capture. What’s a “teachable moment”? It’s that point in time when you actually WANT to learn something. The problem with a lot of kids is that they don’t want to learn. Why? Not enough teachable moments happening.

So how do we do that? I don’t know yet. I just know that when I become a teacher it’ll be my main objective. But to do that I have to get through a few obstacles. Like school. Yes. I’m not done with MY schooling yet. Math and science (and one elective) are holding me back. And that’s just for the AA. I still have to get my BA in order to get my ass in a classroom.

So in the coming months that will turn into years, walk with me. Maybe one day you’ll read that screen of yours and I’ll tell you about how much I love those bad ass kids of yours.

Premonition

Tisha doesn't know this, but in the near future we are going to break-up. I know it.

A Star is Born (No DNA Test Needed)

Sorry I’m late but here is how it went down at the movie shoot.

3:30 p.m.
I arrived on time to the set and was all excited. Imagine, someone had come to one of my shows and saw me perform. Turns out he was a director. Turns out he was making a movie. Turns out he wanted me in it and didn’t even have a part for me! How cool is that! So I get there and meet him for the first time. He introduced me to the rest of the cast and then I was handed my costume. I would be playing the part of Torrance the Mailman. He created this part just for me. I wasn’t even in the script! He just knew he wanted me in the film. How cool is that.

So after I pull a Clark Kent, I wait for him to tell me when and where he needs me. This is where the ‘fun’ begins.

6:48 p.m.
He FINALLY tells me he’s ready for me. I super excited!
“Okay Keldrick, I want you to sit over there with Kenny. When you see Eddie, you say hello and walk over to him”
“Not a problem Will, I can do it”

I do it. Three times. It is flawless.

8:51 p.m.
Oh wait. He didn’t need me yet.

9:33 p.m.
I was getting a little upset. I’d been here all day and only got to be in three seconds of the film and my only line was “Yo, Eddie!” That sucked. I wanted more. For the next scene I told myself I needed to put my stamp on this bad boy. This scene called for myself and this other guys (who’s name escapes me) to put a sign up. The owner of the store was giving us instructions on how raise it up. When he started talking to me in Spanish, I was like “What? Huh? What the hell are you saying?! Up? Up? Damn it speak English!” Will (the director) loved it!

“That was awesome Keldrick! WE can use that! Tell ya what, I just got an idea. We’ll do it a few more times and then you can get a close up.”

A close-up. Dude. Do you understand what that is? It’s a CLOSE-UP! For a moment in the film the camera will be focused TOTALLY on me! What I have to say will be all that is important. The entire day was worth it when we did that shot. I wanted to keep doing it but Will said I was perfect and only three takes were needed. Curse my awesomeness…

10:36 p.m.
My part is over but they kept shooting. Will wrote me a check and told me that he was sure to keep my name in case anything else comes up.

Wow. I’m gonna be in pictures.

Insert Mr. Cheeks Striper Theme Song Here

Today I get to see what its like to be in a movie. It’s a short, independent film so don’t expect to see me up on the big screen. I’ll be playing a mailman that keeps bothering the main character. The director says he saw me at one of my shows and thought that I HAD to be in his movie. That’s pretty cool. So when I get back from the movie shoot, I’ll be able to tell ya what went on. (And any other stuff that’s on my mind!)

Ready For My Close-Up

i just wanted to let ya'll know that I'm going to be in a movie. When I know more about it I'llt ell ya more but as for right now, thats all I know!

Enough With The Ducks, Just Say Goose Already!!

If you ever get a chance to make love to the woman of your dreams, do it. I do it all the time. Not that WE do it all the time I just mean that when we DO do it, it’s so wonderful. Those love scenes you see on television and in the movies don’t have shit on my lady and I. It’s always so great that it makes me wonder; why DON’T we do this all the time?

Tisha had a day off yesterday. Usually she spends her days off in bed doing nothing. I can understand that. She works very hard at her job and being home doing nothing is what my baby deserves. She makes a lot of things happen around here and spoils me when it comes to little things, so I try not to bother her too much. But DAMN is she sexy in those little shorts, walking around here with no bra on! I see her and, well… I just gotta ‘get right’ before I stand up…

It sometimes sucks living with a woman you think is so gorgeous. I mean, she’s built like one of those shake-ya booty video chicks. Slim build, NO WAIST, thick legs, and almost Ki-Toy Johnson like ass. She has VERY sexy eyes and the thickest lips that are just right for kissing. (And other things you perv!) I’ll be honest with you, I don’t go to strip clubs or get a kick out of seeing chicks naked in movies (unless it’s a chick with another chick and lets face it, EVERYONE thinks that is hot!) because Tisha is so fine that I’ve become numb to it. That’s not to say that I think she is THE MOST GORGOUS AND PERFRECT WOMAN ON THE PLANET, cuz she isn’t. But she’s mine, ALL MINE and that helps.

You see I think the reason why men (or even women) cheat is because they are not satisfied with what they have. How the fuck can you cheat on Halle Berry? Well, you’re an idiot like Eric Bennett. Since you can get hot girls all the time, Halle is no big thing for you. I am not Eric. Tisha IS a big thing for me. Let me add this to that so we don’t get shit twisted, I can get hot chicks, but when you find someone that is the total package there is no need to keep searching. That’s the problem people have. They think, “Well, I got this great person who does all these great things but maybe there is someone even better!” Shut-up dumb-ass. There is a difference between settling and knowing when to settle down.

I was talking to a new friend of mine yesterday and she was telling me about this guy that liked her. Her logic was that this guy can not be good for her and will ultimately fail as a mate just because he likes her. This is how she broke it down (paraphrasing cuz I ain’t no stenographer) :

“Kel, he likes me. But there is always something wrong with every guy that I like.”
“So you like him?”
“Well, yeah but I know that it’s not gonna work out.”
“How do you know this?”
“Cuz he likes me for me and when a guy likes me for me and I like him it doesn’t work out for some reason.”
“So in order for your relationships to work, a guy can not like you?”
“No, the guys that usually like me suck. They are broke, or not that attractive, or they ain’t got no job…”
“And those work?”
“No. I mean when a guy has all the things that I like then there is something usually wrong with them.”
“So this new guy, who has done nothing wrong so far, other then share his feelings with you, is gonna fuck up in the near future? This is what you know?”
“Yes. I know he will.”
“Can I get the winning lotto numbers? Cuz it’s obvious your clairvoyance knows no bounds.”

You ever play that game “Duck, Duck, Goose” as a child? Of course you have. For those of you that grew up on the far side of the moon, in this game kids sit in a circle. One player is “It”. “It” must walk around the circle tapping each kid on the head saying ‘duck’ with each tap until they yell ‘Goose!’ at which point the ‘goose’ must get up and chase “It” around the circle before “It” can sit down again. If the ‘goose’ is unable to do this, then the ‘goose’ becomes “It” and the game keeps going.

The game can be a lot of fun. There is some strategy to it if you’re a smart kid. Sometimes you skip the ‘ducks’ and just yell ‘GOOSE!’ to get it out of the way. Some kids go around the circle a shit load of times before they yell ‘goose’. When they do that there is so much tension being built up in that little circle. Everyone is wondering if they will be the next ‘goose’ so they are all ready to spring up at any moment.

Same thing applies with relationships. You’re never gonna find the right goose to chase you if you just keep tapping ducks. To my friend that I know is reading this, say goose. Let him chase you. If he catches you, then you’re it. If not, sit back down and let someone else play…

Someone Get The Sticks And Stones

If you came to this spot before there was something here that should not have been. I know this blog is supposed to be my escape and it’s supposed to sorta, entertain you the reader, while I get some things off of my chest. What it is NOT supposed to do is hurt and disrespect the people I love and care about.

It did.

If you read the "Puff Puff Pass" blog that was here before then you would know that in it I said (wrote) some very mean things about a very good friend of mine. I won't go back and say what I said but trust me, it wasn't nice. That isn't who I am though. It may look like it because of what was said but it isn't me. I would never say or do something to hurt my friends. I don't have too many and the truth is that the one that I have I love like crazy.

I was so stuck on saying all these mean things that I didn't say anything nice. the fact is that if I were to go into detail about how great my friend is, you'd be reading this until Tuesday morning.

Lu, it was childish and stupid to say all those things about you. The love I have for you could rival any other that I have in my life, believe me when I say that. I know you aren't speaking to me right now (or may not for some time to come) but understand that I deserve whatever it is you have to say or do to me and will endure it with my head held high if it means I can still call you a friend.

Please accept my deepest apology.

We Put The "Dip" In Serendipity

Things happen when I break up with Tisha. Good or bad, I’m not sure, but THINGS happen. Last year when we broke up, I realized something profound. I HAVE NO LIFE OUTSIDE THIS WOMAN! The problem is that my girlfriend is also my best friend. So that means we do all types of stuff together. Movies, dinner, watch tv, do our hair and nails… well, maybe not the nails, but you get it. When you have been with someone for (what I consider to be) a long time, you get a routine. We had (have) one of those. Now that she was gone it was like doing the electric slide by yourself. I just felt dumb.

But then it hit me. “Keldrick, you can do ANYTHING you want now!” Think about how liberating that is to finally comprehend that WHATEVER your heart and bank account will allow, you can do. Sometimes I want to go to the beach at night and watch the water. DO IT! I wanna go rent a bunch of action movies and watch them all in one night. DO IT! I wanna get back to performing in front of people, or be in a movie! DO IT MAN, FOR GOODNESS SAKE DO IT!!!

So that’s what I did. I got back into doing improv comedy and have been doing it ever since. It’s so fun to be able to get up on that stage and act a fool. Granted it’s no different from when I’m not on stage acting a fool, only now I don’t get funny looks… Well, I still get funny looks but now people pay to see it. Okay they don’t pay me, but still!

My break-up also forced me to get a car. Tisha drove me everywhere and ya know what? I felt like a scrub for that. So the next day after we broke up, I went and got me a car. A nice one too! Something that wasn’t going to get me in trouble with the cops anymore, a Gallant. See, I used to have a Camaro or as I like to call it “How fast did you say I was going officer?” No speeding in this 4 cylinder behemoth! 0-60 in like, 8.5 seconds baby!

The break-up was what I needed in order to find myself again. I got my confidence back. I also got my lady back as well. (Lets understand though, that it was I who broke up with HER. This is significant) When we got back together, she was actually a changed person. She could see why I left in the first place. It got us closer to each other. So close we decided it was time to move in together.

Fast forward to one week ago.

Tisha walks in after work and says “I’m not renewing the lease.” Then walks out. I stop her then we talk. I don’t know about you, but I like getting into fights when I break up with someone. It gives it a sort of finality. You get to yell and scream and be real dramatic when you grab your keys and say something cool like, “Well fuck you too then!” and slam the door on your way out thus giving YOU the last word.

That shit didn’t happen at all. We actually TALKED. I won’t go into details but basically, thanks to my lack of employment as of late she felt things weren’t going to improve with us and thought it would be better if we just let the lease run out and go our separate ways. I was like, if you’re not happy with me, I’ll just leave now then. I’d rather know you were happy coming home then unhappy having to see me here all the time.

We didn’t speak for three days. On the forth day I started to gather my things and place them all in the living room for her to see. I wanted her to stop me. I wanted her to walk in and see that I wasn’t joking this time around. In the midst of all this I called my boy Adny (yes, that’s how you spell it!) and told him I needed a place to stay. He said no problem. I also let him know that I wasn’t sure if I could pay rent and cuz he’s my dawg, he told me to not sweat it. In fact, he said he may have a job for me. You see Adny is an animator. Right now he is working on a project and the project requires a writer. Adny spoke to the guy in charge and told him about me...

Needless to say we’re renewing our lease. Now I gotta clean all this stuff up.